To prove I am not insane

[Jazzy3113]

A few days ago, astros suggested I make a new screen name and start over. I actually thought that was a really good idea. I made the screen name holcanewarrior. I did not flame and wait to pick my hero based on the enemies heroes and my teams. As you know, I believe that my teammate luck is abnormally bad. Mostly that known ruiners will play their usual ruin when on my team and against me will play normal. And to a lesser degree, the top players will carry against me, and have an off game when on my team.

Everyone keeps telling me it's all in my head, so I was kind of excited that maybe I am crazy and this new name will allow me to start having fun playing dota again. It will also give me a chance to try new heroes besides NA all the time, to keep my cover.

Game 1
https://entgaming.net/openstats/game/12217717/

This was a frustrating loss. I was triggered right at the start when ET picked techies and not his usual arc or invoker. But whatever, sometimes techies can be good if the other team refuses to ward and gem. I also picked axe to be a tank for the team and help with pl images.

The other team had poobum and tomex and vostok, so I was happy my first game could test my theory. To my shock (and disgust) tomex joined in team fights, poobum was an amazing support omni and VOSTOK WENT 11-5 AND CARRIED THIS TEAM.

Okay, maybe today the usual ruiners are playing well and taking today seriously. It happens. Let us try next game.

Game 2
https://entgaming.net/openstats/game/12217720/

For the very next game, I made sure to pair up with poobum and vostok. Tomex did not play this very next game. Poobum picked rex, which annoyed me as omni is much better overall, but at least Vostok went abba again. I went doc because everyone was melee and not int, so I tried to play a hero that balanced the team.

Guess what happened this game? Poobum was the lowest level hero and went 1-9, completely feeding and ruining. And Vostok? He quit 15 mins, just straight up quit, probably disgusted with the straight feed of Poobum.

I swear to God I am not making this up. This was back to back games. Game 1 the ruiners played well to exceptionally well and Game 2 the fed and ruined. The only difference was the team I was on.

Bad luck? Variance? How to explain?

Game 3
https://entgaming.net/openstats/dota/game/12217725/

This game was more an example of both previous games affect me. I was obviously seeing red after what happened previously. I am playing under a new name, picking heroes to help my team, not being toxic, and still I get f*cked over.

The worst player by kills and deaths and assists and, most importantly hero level, was GodSave. Yes, he was on my team. I started to again lose my cool and even commented a few times how badly he sucked. I let it affect my play. I had to really good players on my team that led a comeback, so in my mind those two good players helped cancel out how awful pink was. Even though I once again had a really bad player, I should have ignored him and played better.

But the one thing I want to point out is TRADER. He was on the other team. He was bat and initiated fights, but most importantly he never gave up, even when my team made a comeback. He played well the entire 1 hour game. Never fed or was his usual toxic self.

Why did I mention TRADER?

Game 4
https://entgaming.net/findstats.php?id=12217728

This game pretty much broke my spirit.

Why did I mention trader from last game?

Because this game he was my teammate. And guess what?

Most deaths of anyone in game and ruined mid. Then went afk after 11 deaths for like 3 mins. Remember, last game he played the whole game and was with team. 17 DEATHS, AS OUR MID. JUST ONE GAME AFTER PLAYING NORMALLY IN AN HOUR LONG GAME.

I did not say a word, in fact my other teammates were yelling at him. But this can't be a coincidence.

I know the common refrains. This is a small sample size. Focus on yourself, control what you can control. They did not know holcane was you, they did not ruin on purpose. Trader and vostok and poo are not in some conspiracy to get me. They did not even know it was me they were ruining for and against

And I agree, they don't do it to target me, I just have some very odd luck around here. I think this little example proves it. TRADER really depressed me too much to try any more games.

I have also realized that my flaming and anger is not getting better, even under a new name, so I am going to ask ifck to just ban me for 6 months. I hope to have a better attitude when I come back.

[Astros]

Game 1: E.T. randomly ruins games based on his hormones for that game. He's definitely not targeting you. I've played with him before and one moment he's helping and the other he's refusing to help for no reason. You lost this game because the other team had the better end game heroes with the better late game carry player.

Game 2: You played a 33 minute game and only have 17 creep kills but you're trying to blame your teammates? I mean, c'mon. You should do a self-reflection on yourself. The game was over from the start because your team had low quality players and a bad mix of hero selection. Not necessarily that anyone "played" bad. But 17 creep kills is inexcusable in a 33 minute game. You're basically killing only 1 creep every two minutes. How is that possible?

Game 3: Again, one hour game and you only killed 29 creeps? Look at your items... Even master_pain has equal or more $ than you. I'm not sure what exactly your standard of game-ruining is. Is it by score? Because you have the second worst score on your team with garbage items. At least GodSaveQQ's can still be useful with his ulti and refresher. I'm not exactly sure what you are doing in team fights with the lack of items in a one hour game. You're talking about Trader... he's not even doing that much better than GodSaveQQ's. And he's the worst on his own team. But really, you should have won that game if you had better items. One hour game, 29 creeps. I don't know how you can blame anyone if that's the type of gameplay you're doing.

Game 4: Honestly, just a bad mix of matchups again. Sagaquest is a good omni and Lesh really falls off if he doesn't get a good start. Naix+LC could kill him quite easily from then point on. Trader does have issues with letting the game get out of hand and then continuously dying stupidly because he gives up. And it's not because you're in the game or not.


I'd say 2 of these games were lost because the other team just had the better players/heroes.

2 of these games you probably could have won if you had better items. Someone afking in a lane could get more than 1 creep kill every two minutes. I'm not sure what exactly you are doing in these games. It's possible that your gameplay is severely affected by you trying to analyze the players and their every action on your team rather than focusing on your own. You're not exactly the top performer in any of these games, either. There's lots to complain about you from your own teammates.

[Jazzy3113]

Totally agree that I can improve my play, but I just start obsessively watching my teammates. I cannot focus or keep my cool when someone like trader demands mid from our best player and then proceeds to ruin. I also was taking notes for this experiment.

And I agree, the easiest thing to do is for me to improve and be the difference maker in the game.

But I can't ignore. And my point was I just want players to be consistent. The first game poobum was omni and tping to heal everyone, it was unreal. The next game he just feeds as rex, and by feed I mean he just dies solo in random spots. It was like two different people. I cannot control my anger and I hope this long break will allow me to be better and less toxic.

[Hunter91]

What about games likes this
https://entgaming.net/findstats.php?id=12217585
feeding, crying
jazzy3113: lets ff at 10 mins (before even 8 minutes were played, which was annoying as fuck),
taking over 20mins to get dagger
and still get carried.

[Jazzy3113]

What about games likes this
https://entgaming.net/findstats.php?id=12217585
feeding, crying
jazzy3113: lets ff at 10 mins (before even 8 minutes were played, which was annoying as fuck),
taking over 20mins to get dagger
and still get carried.

And I am telling you that I cannot handle games like this. This was my team.

eastybeasty 0/8/6
signature 3/12/13
jub3 6/4/6
jazzy3113 4/9/8
ordreimperial 17/7/9

If you watch the game, easty and sig are just feeding like insane people early. I am unable to ignore this. I start getting madder and madder and literally cannot concentrate. I lose all fun seeing people not even attempt to play properly.

We ended up winning because geo was too sexy.

I am hoping after my ban, I can play games like this without getting super mad and keep playing well. But for now, I cannot control my anger.

Just look at recent post. I cannot handle players like poobum and TRADER playing normal one game and insane the next. I cannot control my anger and frustration. I admit I am a average to bad player, but I AM CONSISTENT. I never play differently, you know what you get when I am on your team. I cannot handle vostok going 11-5 and carrying against me and then quitting and ruining the next game on my team. I wish I could play well all the time like you, but I can't do it.

[EdteOfChaos2]

What about games likes this
https://entgaming.net/findstats.php?id=12217585
feeding, crying
jazzy3113: lets ff at 10 mins (before even 8 minutes were played, which was annoying as fuck),
taking over 20mins to get dagger
and still get carried.

And I am telling you that I cannot handle games like this. This was my team.

eastybeasty 0/8/6
signature 3/12/13
jub3 6/4/6
jazzy3113 4/9/8
ordreimperial 17/7/9

If you watch the game, easty and sig are just feeding like insane people early. I am unable to ignore this. I start getting madder and madder and literally cannot concentrate. I lose all fun seeing people not even attempt to play properly.

We ended up winning because geo was too sexy.

I am hoping after my ban, I can play games like this without getting super mad and keep playing well. But for now, I cannot control my anger.

Just look at recent post. I cannot handle players like poobum and TRADER playing normal one game and insane the next. I cannot control my anger and frustration. I admit I am a average to bad player, but I AM CONSISTENT. I never play differently, you know what you get when I am on your team. I cannot handle vostok going 11-5 and carrying against me and then quitting and ruining the next game on my team. I wish I could play well all the time like you, but I can't do it.

Why did you post a game where you went 4/9 and got hard carried by a geo picker as an example of bad luck?
The only person who had bad luck there was the geomancer... having nearly his entire team go negative kd and probably not doing a lot. Needed to singlehandedly carry the game because of that.

[Jazzy3113]

Hunter posted that game as an example of me sucking.

Basically, the refrain is that I suck. Which I have already accepted.

My point is that, and what i posted above playing under my new name, is that players play normal against me (poobum, vostok and trader in the sample set I used), and ruin for me.

I am hoping my break away from the game helps me control my anger at these perceived slights. And I am able to simply ignore ruiners and maybe lead to some comebacks. But for now, I just self destruct when someone plays badly.

[EdteOfChaos2]

So since you played on a new name where people didn't know it's you, what's your excuse now for why it happens?

I'll give you a hint - it's because this happens to literally everyone. People have inconsistent performance. You only remember the times when people underperform with you or overperform against you, and ignore all the cases of the opposite.

In this game, you get carried by a 900 elo going 16/6. The Korean player on the opposite team who usually is very good, does pretty badly (6/12): https://entgaming.net/findstats.php?id=12217664

eldiabloblanco plays pretty solid on your team, and lex who usually does well has trouble on the opposite team, which is just something that happens not a big deal, but if you were in my position you would rage hard at him and whine about how you got unlucky (which would be stupid because sometimes people struggle and sometimes they do well, it depends on a lot of factors, just play the damn game): https://entgaming.net/findstats.php?id=12217659

Carried 7/0 by a 900 elo, you also did well: https://entgaming.net/findstats.php?id=12217615

yes as you get better at dota, it becomes less likely to have bad games, but even the best player in the world will have bad games. Sometimes it's not even in your control if you get focused.

[Jazzy3113]

Objectively and logically, I know you're right.

But in the heat of the game, I cannot believe that. Also, I feel like those wins you posted everyone on my team tried. I can keep my composure when everyone is trying.

But in my sample size, when poo and trader just ruined I cannot handle it. I agree, I was using a fake name so I understand that they do not ruin just cause it's me. I can see that now. But I play 4 games totally anonymous and 3 of the games I get leavers and ruiners? And the worst part is the guys who ruined played well the previous game against me?

I am just not having fun with these jerks.

And most importantly, I then self destruct and become a ruiner myself, becoming the very thing that disgusts me. I will start my ban after the holiday weekend, because no matter how hard I try, I simply cannot control myself when someone continues to feed. That last game with trader was BRUTAL. HE DEMANDED MID FROM RIKI, AND THEN KEPT DIVING SOLO OVER AND OVER. HE DIED 17 TIMES!

[lex-]

@eadge, I already revenge that Korean dude. Yes some time I played like shit because my PC window 10 wasn't working properly. https://entgaming.net/openstats/game/12217766/
I was dave.binky. He talked a lot of shit about astros.

[EdteOfChaos2]

Nice, wp

And jazzy, enjoy your break I guess...

[lex-]

I used laptop to play Dota but some time window 10 required auto update. I don't know how to remove that shit I hate this auto update, it causes my game speed slower as usually.